What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
where am i from again
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
