I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
