shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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