she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
