Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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