trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
