Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize