I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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