hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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