I heard we made out
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
