Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
