Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize