if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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