on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I look better un-naked...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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