listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
