You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
