i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
where are my pants?
in the oven.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize