I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
