we have pet lesbian snakes
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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