If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize