Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize