He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
