Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize