last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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