were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
