Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
