Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Randomize
