so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
