are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
