I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
