so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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