everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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