at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
