Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
This toilet bowl is my home.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
