The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Drunk is not a location!
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
