my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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