He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
