fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
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