Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You made out with two different species that night
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
