the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Why is there bacon in the couch?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize