holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize