My hand turned me down
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
