doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
