Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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