i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just found puke in my bra..
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
