That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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