Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
