do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
