Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
