her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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