Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
