look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
