Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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