I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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