At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
