Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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