last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
one might say we're banned from that church
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Even my vagina gasped.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
