Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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