Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize