we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
