OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
