I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
