He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
