It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
