did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize