I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
