ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
