im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
NoShamevember. You game?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
