Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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