Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
