sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
