Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
