I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
