What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
