id be glad to
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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