White coat. Heels.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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