If i come over, it means nothing
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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